ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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