Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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