careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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