So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My vagina just recognized that song.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
