all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
