I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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