census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
