You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize