Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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