the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
