1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
