He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
