and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize