He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
