it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
