remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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