If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
