The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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