Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
