Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
