what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
