no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
