She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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