Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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