My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
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