Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(907): View more from Alaska

i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.

Fav 8 2013 1340
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy

Fav 24 1892 4934
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(612): View more from Minnesota

i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.

Fav 4 1935 822
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle

Fav 1 827 1461
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(678): View more from Georgia

I'll always be here to give you immoral support.

Fav 6 3208 1182
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?

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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work

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(501): View more from Arkansas

PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.

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