the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
