remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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