That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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