I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
