my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
