So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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