Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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