the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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