Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
