I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize