tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
