Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
