I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I checked into jail on foursquare
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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