Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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