we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
