And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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