Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
