I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
