Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I am spending my child support on dildos
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
