Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
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