grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
and you fell through a lawn chair
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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