Your face is a jimmy john
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize