What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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