put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
