Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
