woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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