I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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