i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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