sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
