Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
