my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
