she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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