I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
