I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
